Opinion: It's Getting Hot in Here: A Senior Perspective on Cornhuskin'

Today's piece was written with the help of Pal Fieri, a generic celebrity guest judge on this week's episode of the Amazing Corn Experience!


Let me take you on a cruise through Flavortown as we experience everything the MC Kitchen had to offer this year!


This hoedown began its throwdown on Friday, Nov.4, after a week of lost sleep due to Corn practices, the classes emerged from their lairs carrying giant containers full of soda cans and carnage from previous year's competitions. However, this doesn’t mean they weren’t spirited, before the competition the seniors took time to sing to and encourage every class on the battlefield to do their best.


When the buzzer went off the seniors scurried with ambition and 3 previous years' worth of disappointing losses. As a famous pop star, Taylor Swift would say “Lately they’ve been thinking about revenge.” When the Can Art co-chairs made their appearances: one was on the ground delegating tasks while everyone scrambled desperately to get their work done. From the third floor of Faircloth stood their fearless leader shouting directions from the balcony to the workers below. This event is not for those of weak will, carnage is expected and while everyone will be playing nice with their fellow classes, no one said the heat wouldn’t be turned up to the highest degree. The juniors not to be outdone by the seniors struck a homerun as they claimed a winning category in the can art competition for overall execution and importance to the theme.


Now we get to the good part: the main-day activities of Cornhuskin’. Starting that day a giant parade was held on the main drive of Meredith. This is where each class has the opportunity to smile and wave to the unsuspecting family and friends. Alums in the crowd smiled because they knew, and they were here for the drama. Classes carried in their class banners, made the sounds of their battle cries, and smile and wave cheerfully as they prepared for the battle of their lifetime or at the very least the next semester. A devastating loss occurred for the freshman and the juniors as their balloon arches were made like the wind and flew before the parade even happened. The seniors and the sophomores were the only survivors of “The Great Gust of 2022”. Thank goodness not all was lost though, as the Juniors did manage to hold onto the bare minimum scraps of the balloon arch that decided to become a foul ball in our upper stratosphere.


Later on in the evening, the dance processionals are showcased for all to marvel at. The freshman started strong and whimsical as they processed to their seats. Their fairy wings were a beauty for everyone to see. The Sophomores took center stage as they worked to get to their seats without getting hit by the “Sophomore Slump” and the Juniors came in with a fastball having the most elaborate and choreographed processional of the night. After a malfunction with the sound system, the seniors were left scrambling to find the right ingredients for their 8-minute-long processional. Despite the improv, the Seniors were able to recover and serve a medium well looking processional.


Following the processionals all chaos ensued as the amphitheater was inundated was fairies both “good” and “evil”, a bout of the “Sophomore Slump”, a visit from the Maroon Socks, and last but not least Me (Pal Fieri)! I turned up the heat all the way to level 100 as I judged the Amazing Corn experience with my best pals, Gordon Daisy, Bobby Slay and Paulie Raliegh.


At the end of the night, there were tears and hugs all around. Laughter was shared as the Oddballs told jokes in their first and final corn performance and memories were made while the Bathtub ring sang their songs. At the end of the festivities, the wise judges of Corn cast upon us mere mortals their decision as to the Cornhuskin 2022 winner. In a close race between the juniors and the seniors, the Juniors struck out in a devastating loss to the Seniors who has what it took to Cook a final corn dish that was the true embodiment of corn-spirit.


Until next time this is Pal Fieri signing out on his (first) and last corn article!


By Rachel Van Horne, Associate Editor, and Pal Fieri, Generic Guest Star

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