VP's Urgent No. 2 Unearths Precious Artifact

On the morning of April 1, Dr. Jean Jackson, the Vice President of College Programs, tragically ran out of toilet paper. She hastily jogged to her underground bunker where she stores a collection of old documents that would put the Library of Congress to shame.

She searched for a worthy material: she shook her head at her stack of signed photos of Rowan Atkinson, walked past her complete works of Stephenie Meyer, shrugged at the chin-high mound of copy-edited Bedford Handbooks and averted her gaze from the four binders' worth of rejection letters from Morehouse College.

Then Dr. Jackson eyed the perfect medium: old issues of The Meredith Herald. Any of them published post-1997 were trash anyway, she thought, since that was when they stopped printing the daily bible verse on the front page.

This year's issues were too thick to fold neatly, she mused, and last year's had already soaked up too much of her red pen to absorb anything else. She had just picked up the thin yet supple pages of Fall 2017 issues when out tumbled a paper so old it nearly disintegrated when it fell to the ground: the far-superior Twig.

Dr. Jackson graciously sent the staff of The Herald this old issue (after she finally relieved herself, of course), probably only to give us a model to emulate.

On behalf of The Meredith Herald, formerly Twig, and thanks to the gastrointestinal function of Dr. Jean Jackson, please enjoy this April Fools issue from 1940.

By Mimi Mays, Editor in Chief